On Storms and A Health Update

A Little Backstory: 

In January of this year, I experienced what we now know was a focal seizure at my mom’s birthday celebration. My family was adamant I follow up with a neurologist after witnessing this (I was adamant I was fine, because I was only partially aware of what was going on ;))  I saw a neurologist in February, and we discovered that the episodes I had been experiencing very frequently (multiple times a day most days) for over a year were seizures. While awaiting treatment options, further testing, and appointments, in April I had a grand mal seizure (also known as a tonic clonic seizure) while shopping at Trader Joe's with my mom. I woke up in an ambulance, with no recollection of what had happened or where I was.  I actually thought I was dreaming when the EMT’s told me I had a seizure.  Following this, I received a diagnosis of epilepsy.  Currently, we are in the process of determining exactly what is going on, so more testing is being done to understand the specific type and origin of the seizures in order to help us determine the best course of treatment moving forward.  I have begun seizure medications, and while I have had no more tonic clonic seizures (Praise God), I am still having focal seizure activity.

*The pictures on instagram/ the blog were captured during an at home video EEG test.

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During this time, I’ve been thinking about the song from Maverick City, that says- “the wind came, the storms blew, but my house was built on you.”  In my life years ago, the storms did come and the winds did blow, but I found out that my foundation was not on Jesus.  My foundation was on my own strength.

This time around, as the rain has come and the winds have blown in the form of seizures,  I can see and feel a difference.  There’s a difference in the peace I feel.  There’s a difference in my response.  There’s a difference in my mind.  Before, my mind ran completely wild with worry, fear, doubt, and confusion.  This time, there are moments of these feelings.  Please hear me when I say I have at times still struggled with these, but it is not what is predominant.  By His great faithfulness, I now know God to be with me in my darkest nights.  I have known Him to be faithful and true.  I have known Him to bring me comfort in the most miraculous ways, even though he didn’t have to.  I’ve known His kindness.  These experiences help me to hold on to faith, and to not be thrown about in the midst of the storm.  My foundation is built on Jesus now through and through, and perhaps that’s greater than any of the hard things I’ve experienced.  :)

Thank you for all your prayers,

Anna

Hope Fuels our Peace in Times of Crisis

“Our circumstances don’t determine our peace.”

Last summer, I kept hearing this message over and over in my devotional time. I heard it through songs, messages, etc. It seemed to be everywhere. To be honest, I struggled with it. I thought “God, that doesn’t even seem fair. How can I be at peace when my world seems to be falling apart around me?” As I wrestled with the question of having peace despite hard circumstances, I heard God whisper to my heart,

The level of your hope determines the level of your peace.

Many of us have experienced major life changes due to the current state of the world. There are many things that look different in our day-to-day lives than we could have ever anticipated. We are all facing the uncertainties of what our lives will look like in the coming future. How do we continue to have peace when we hang in the balance of so much uncertainty?

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance for what we do not see.” Jesus, who is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6), stands ready to lovingly give us His peace, and we can choose to receive it. When we put our hope in the Lord, we can receive peace despite our circumstances. Hope and peace are interrelated; hope fuels our peace in times of crisis. Because I know who my God is, and I can recall His faithfulness in my life, I can have hope that surpasses understanding . And that then gives way to peace that surpasses understanding. The level of our hope determines the level of our peace.

So, when fear or worry comes, I have to do what I’ve already learned to do when I feel afraid. I fix my eyes on the hope of God’s promises, and I take any other thought captive (blog post on taking thoughts captive here). I do not have to be a slave to my emotions any longer. The emotions are there, yes, but I can choose to rise above them, and hope. I can choose to believe that God is holding me by my right hand, helping me (Isaiah 41:13). I can pray. As Psalm 121 says, I know where my help comes from. It comes from the Lord.

We are all living very real lives with very real concerns, pain, and hardships. Having hope, does not diminish the reality of the things we are going through. But when we activate our faith, and take Jesus’ outstretched hand, we can begin to hope. If you are reading this, I am praying Romans 15:13 over you: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Scriptures to meditate on and get inside your heart this week:

We have this hope that we have as an anchor for our soul, firm and secure... Hebrews 6:19

“For I know the plans for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41: 13

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 3:16

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Truly He is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Psalm 62:6

I lift up my eyes to the hills -- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip -- He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you -- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm -- He will watch over your life; The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121

With love,

Anna

How to Handle a Reappearance of Anxiety

After posting my blog post last week, Wednesday morning, I started feeling some physical symptoms of anxiety out of the blue, while praying and reading my Bible.  It seemed no coincidence that right after I had just publicly declared that God has delivered me from anxiety, that I would start to experience it. However, God used that experience to reveal truth to me, and I think it is important to share because bringing things we struggle with into the light and in community can help others who are experiencing the same thing.

The thing is, we can sometimes think that to be free of something in the mind, such as anxiety or depression, means we never experience it again. God has freed me from the hold anxiety and fear had on my life.  That does not necessarily mean I will never have another anxious or fearful thought or feeling during my life.  What could or would have happened in the past when I started feeling that way Wednesday, would have turned into a full-fledged panic attack, and probably days or more of anxiety.  However, I have learned how to recognize those thoughts and feelings and stop them in their tracks. I can use the thoughts as a warning to me that something is off in my thinking, and I can replace it with truth.  2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.” What this means is, if I have a thought that does not line up with the Word of God, and its truth, I can reject that thought in my mind.  Thoughts like “What if _____ happens?” can be triggers for anxiety. Dwelling on the past or past mistakes can also be a trigger for self condemning thoughts, which can trigger anxiety as well. Until I read Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, I had no idea how messed up my thought life was.  I was so hard on myself and allowed myself to entertain self condemning and self critical thoughts all day long.  Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” This means that any of those thoughts that make you feel shame or worry about things you’ve done, are also not from God.  It is true that God convicts us of our wrong doing because He loves us, but it is not in a way that would cause worry, shame, anxiety, or condemnation because He does not want those things for us. So, if we have those thoughts of self condemnation, we can reject them as well.  Not only do we need to reject these thoughts that come into our minds that are not aligned with the truth, we must also replace them with truth.  If this sounds impossible to you, I highly recommend a few different resources on the mind:  Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer (God used this book in such a powerful way when I was battling anxiety), and also Dr. Caroline Leaf’s Switch on Your Brain.  Dr. Caroline Leaf  has a wealth of resources on the mind, including a podcast that is helpful.

So, I mentioned that we need to replace our fearful and/or anxious thoughts with truth, but what is that truth?  Well, God says a lot about worry, fear, and our thoughts in the Bible.  2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  That means anxious thoughts are not from God. To be clear, I am not talking about being afraid to walk across a highway or something similarly dangerous.  We are talking about feeling terror, fright, worry, anxiety, panic, etc. These things can control us, cripple us, and prevent us from living our lives. The Bible has 365 examples of “Do not be afraid,” being said.  That is one reminder for every day of the year! God also mentions in many places in the Bible, not to worry. I love the New Living Translation of Philippians 4:6-7 which reads: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” That is a powerful promise we can cling to in times of worry.

It is so important that we know what God says about us, so that we can begin to renew our minds and replace unhealthy thoughts with truth.  When I first experienced anxiety, I did not know what God said about me well enough to be able to use the Word as a weapon. I did not know what the Bible said about who I was and how God loved me.  These are some verses of scripture that have personally helped me, and can help with anxiety, worry, fear, and depression. I have replaced the pronouns with “me” so that you can use them as declarations to pray back to God:

(2 Timothy 1:7)  For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

(Romans 8:1)  Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

(1 John 4:4) He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.

(Isaiah 54:17) No weapon formed against me shall prosper.

Read Matthew 6:  25-34

(Colossians 3:15)  Let the peace of Christ rule in my heart.

(Isaiah 26:3) You will keep me in perfect peace as I stay my mind on you, because I trust in you.

(Psalm 59:16) But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.

I hope that this will encourage you in any doubt or confusion you might have if you experience fearful, or anxious thoughts or feelings at some point in your life, especially if you thought you had overcome them.  You are MORE than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. God is with you and is fighting for you. I would also highly recommend checking out Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind and Dr. Caroline Leaf’s books and resources. They are amazing resources on the mind. Most of all, get to know the Word of God for yourself.  I promise you won’t regret it.

“Father God,

I lift this beautiful woman up to you in the name of Jesus.  I pray that she would experience your perfect peace that surpasses all understanding.  I pray that despite her circumstances, she would know that you love her and that she would be able to put her trust in you.  I pray that you would reassure her that you have not given her a spirit of fear, but you have given her a sound mind. Your perfect love casts out all fear, God.  Remove all fear from her heart and mind in Jesus’ name. I pray for healing and restoration for her. Let your love and peace wash over her today, as a healing balm to her soul.  Refresh her, Lord. Thank you for your faithfulness.

In Jesus’ name, 

Amen”

Action Step:  Use one of the scriptures above or look up your own, and write it out on a piece of paper.  Stick it on your bathroom mirror or in your car to remind you of truth the next time you need it.

With love,

Anna

Welcome!

Welcome to The Threshing Floor! 

I am so glad you are here. If you are reading this, I want you to know that the hard moments, seasons, and things you’ve walked through in your life can bring the most meaningful fruit, when placed in the loving hands of God.  This blog is the result of a promise I made during one of the hardest things I’ve ever walked through. During that season, when I was crying out to God to rescue me, I promised Him that He could use my story for His glory if He saved me. I promised that I would tell whoever He wanted me to, and in whatever capacity, about what He’d done for me.  God did not need me to promise anything in order to help me; my promise came out of my desperation and also my lack of understanding of just how good He is/was at the time.  However, He placed a fire in my heart to help and encourage the weary and the uncertain, the brokenhearted, and the ones barely clinging to hope.  If there has been one constant that God has shown me in every trial I’ve faced, it has been His faithfulness. So, this space will be a place where you can come, be known, be encouraged, and be comforted in the fact that you are loved and not alone.

So, what is my story exactly?  Well, I was raised in a Christian home, and I gave my life to Jesus around the age of 9, but that’s not really where my testimony truly begins.   In 2017, my cousin committed su!c!de. When I heard the details of what happened, fear gripped my mind. I panicked at the thought of, “Could that happen to me to?”  My cousin’s su!c!de seemed so out of character for her that it made me worry it could happen to me also, or that I could just “lose my mind.” It was then that I experienced my first panic attack, which lasted over 24 hours.  I had never experienced anxiety or anything similar to that before, so I really did not know what was going on. The only thing I knew was I did not like the way I felt, and I could barely function, the fear was so great.  The next morning I went to church and asked my pastor’s wife to pray for me, since I knew she had experienced panic attacks in the past before. Without me telling her I was having these thoughts she prayed against thoughts of “could this happen to me too.”  That’s when I first realized, that while the fear was great, God was there with me. Following that, I went through a battle for my life for the next four months. I went to the doctor, I went to counseling, and I sought the Lord. I sought God more than I’d ever sought Him before. I was desperate for Him. I truly began to know what it means in Deuteronomy 8:3 which says, “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”  I was desperate to hear from God. I was desperate for His Word. I wanted to know what He had to say about my situation. I knew that was the only way I would make it. And though those months felt like I was walking through a valley of the shadow of death that I would never get out of, God did lead me out. He set me on a journey of healing my mind and my heart. I am now free from anxiety and panic attacks. God not only rescued me, but He has been redeeming every little part of my life as well.  He has and is turning it all around for good.   

I want to tell you that if you are struggling with anxiety, panic, depression, or any other struggle, God is with you.  He has not, nor ever will forsake you. Seek Him. He will show you the way out. Isaiah 43:19 says, “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” He makes a WAY where there was no way.  I can testify to it. Every time I feel like God is far, and I am in a desperate situation, He shows me His faithfulness. If He has done it for me, He can do it for you.  God does not play favorites. We are all created in His image.  Jeremiah 31:3 says He draws us with his lovingkindness.  Today, I hope you feel encouraged and comforted in the fact that God is right there with you, holding out His hand for you to take. He is battling for you, and will teach you to battle alongside Him.

“Father God, 
I lift up the person who is reading this right now.  You know their heart, and you know every detail of the situation they are facing.  I pray that your loving arms would wrap around them, and comfort their heart. I pray for healing in their mind.  Your Word says you have come to bind up the brokenhearted, and set the captives free. I pray you’d heal their wounds, and lead them out of the valley.  You make a way in the wilderness, and I pray that you’d give them your eyes to see their situation. Help them to be bold enough to trust you, God. It’s in Jesus’ mighty name I pray. 
Amen.”

If you’re still reading this, thank you.  I know that was long! I am truly honored to begin this journey with you, and I pray that you are encouraged.

Action Step: Get still and quiet before the Lord this week. Light a candle. Invite Him in. Tell Him what’s on your heart. He’s waiting.

With love, 

Anna